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Freddie Wiens, Outfield

Inducted into FOBL Hall of Fame: 2015

Drafted in the first round (29th overall) by the Columbia Tigers in 2001

Columbia Tigers (2001)
Norwich Mustardmen (2001-2011, 2013)
Philadelpia Billyclubs (2012)

Fake Baseball Reference Entry

13 seasons, .315 BA, .932 OPS, 312 HR, 120 SB

Best season:
2002: .372 BA, 41 HR, 138 RBI

All-FOBL Second Team 2019, 2010
All-Star Team 2010

It is somewhat of a surprise to learn that Freddie Wiens' (until as recently as 2018 referred to as 'the only decent player in Norwich history') mantlepiece is the receptacle for no worthy awards barring his Hall of Fame entry in 2015. And few would have predicted he would have made it that far after he was drafted by the soon to be utterly inept Mustardmen (who where, at the time, the Columbia Tigers) franchise by the hilariously named Josh Hiscock. Wiens was the occasional lover and long time player for the owner of the Mustardmen, Andrew Malcolm, who took over the franchise late in those salad days of 2001, and proceeded to give him plenty of dollars for the next several years, reaching a peak of $11.5m between 2004 and 2008.

Frederick (as he was Christened) certainly made the most of the offensive conditions that prevailed at the turn of the century, hitting an electric .372 with 41 homer runs in 2002. Over the next two seasons he similarily dominated opposing ptchers, posting .351 with 40 homers and 147 RBI in 2004. Alas, Wiens would never scale the heights of even 30 homers again but he continued to pound the ball for singles and doubles with alarming regularlity, not to mention guarantee himself an on base percentage of over .400 almost every season.

As Wiens moved into his late 30s his skills declined, but at the age of 36 he slugged 27 homers and hit .319, showing there was life in the old dog yet. One season later, Norwich, to the disgust of their fans, let him walk as a free agent to the Philadelphia Billyclubs, where he put up a torrid .327 and 15 homers in just 220 at bats. Philadelphia made the playoffs, but were dumped out at the first hurdle. Wiens returned to Norwich to play out the string of his career in 2013, one last shot at winning the big one. He was clearly not up to the task and posted a paltry .554 OPS in 2013, doing harm to his career numbers. To his credit, Wiens never complained, hauling his tired, 39 year old ass out there to bat over 400 times as Norwich endured what was, at the time, their worst season ever, going 57-105. Sadly it wasn't to be. Indeed, Wiens was never to taste the playoffs with Norwich during Wiens tenure, their best season being 2002 where they finished 7 games off the pace in the division race, at 85-77.

Wiens has enjoyed his retirement from the game, he has a nice house up at Burnham Market (commonly refered to as Chelsea-by-sea) and occasionally makes the long slow drive in his beat up, but well cared for, Morris Minor down to Norwich to catch a game, sometimes mixing it with the fans on the crumbling terraces, sometimes getting stupidly drunk on fine real ales with Malcolm in the directors box.

Whilst Norwich has tasted mild, fleeting success since Wiens retirement, the fans still hark back to his glory days, and just ask a Norwichman what he would give if you could magically provide them with a 3-4-5 of Wiens, Pease, Wilson, for you will surely blush with embarrassment to hear his outrageously filthy answer.