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Thread: Roadkill: Not Moving, Staying Put

  1. #1
    FOBL Owner/GM pbot's Avatar
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    Post Roadkill: Not Moving, Staying Put

    TRENTON, NJ (AP): After days of lackluster speculation, sources within the Trenton organization have confirmed that the Roadkill have reached an agreement in principle with the Trenton/Mercer County Development Authority to remain in Trenton. There were rumors that the team was exploring relocation options, even going so far as securing league approval to relocate the franchise as well as switch to the Gindin League. The agreement was reached late on Friday, once the TMCDA agreed to what one board member, speaking on the condition of anonymity, called "outrageous demands" by team owner and excel spreadsheet aficiando pbot. "I've seen this type of thing before", said the board member. "Pbot sauntered into the room, busted out some fancy pivot tables to get everyone all giddy, and then started dropping vlookups, and if/then statements like there was no tomorrow. By the time he started talking about concatenation and the index formulas, it was almost as if everyone had been hypnotized."

    Although no official announcement has been made, it appears that the lease extension will include a brand new, taxpayer funded stadium for the team along the banks of the Delaware River. Additionally, the team is expected to announce a re-branding effort to coincide with the opening of the new ballpark. “Don’t get your hopes up for something earthshattering,” the source said, “but, probably some adjustments to the uniform and logo are likely.”

    The team’s marketing director refused to comment on the rumors, but did indicate they expect to have some “exciting announcements for our fans” in the near future.

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    Trenton Roadkill - 2040 FOBL Champions


  2. #2
    FOBL Board of Governors Hollywood's Avatar
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    I wonder if Capital City would like some of that sweet development money

  3. #3
    FOBL Owner/GM Doc P's Avatar
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    Best thing to happen to Trenton since the "Trenton Makes Bridge".


    Solecismic Series Champions - 2044, 2047, 2048, 2050, 2053, 2058, 2059
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  4. #4
    Beloved Former Owner RonCo's Avatar
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    More proof that the world runs on excel.
    LOS ALAMOS NUKES
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  5. #5
    FOBL Owner/GM Thomkal's Avatar
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    In other words, not even in the fake world, could you find a new place to live

    Current Owner: Poughkeepsie Paladins/FOBL
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  6. #6
    FOBL Owner/GM pbot's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Thomkal View Post
    In other words, not even in the fake world, could you find a new place to live

    Well played, sir! Well played. I hadn't thought about it that way. Thanlks for the Monday morning laugh.

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    Trenton Roadkill - 2040 FOBL Champions


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