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Thread: Clips from the Taco Dugout

  1. #1
    Beloved Former Owner RonCo's Avatar
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    May 2004
    Oro Valley, AZ

    Default Clips from the Taco Dugout

    (“Taco Dugout” … holy carp but there are two words you probably never want to hear together ever again)

    Joey Cheney comes into the manager’s office, where he finds that fat dude who’s been filling out the lineup card in between smoking stogies and drinking martini’s…at least that’s what the fat dude calls gin.

    “You called, pops?” Cheney says.

    “Got news from the top. You’ve going to San Francisco.”

    “You can’t send me down, pops. I got three girlfriends and a dealer to support. Besides, I’m about the only guy what can play defense around here.”

    “Not my call, Jummy Jummy. I guess Top Branch wanted a washed up lefty more than they wanted you.” The fat dude always calls him Jummy Jummy, which pisses him off, but it’s better than the “Jum-Jum” that will come in late games or extra innings when the dude’s martinis have kicked in. “Besides, the manager says, you’re only hitting .125.”

    Joey Cheney does some mental math and realizes the fat dude is actually right. It’s hard to hit when you’re seeing three balls coming toward the plate.

    “Can I work my way back, pops? You think I can make it?”

    “Got any gin?”

    “I’m serious, pops. I always wanted to be a ballplayer.”

    The fat dude looks up through a blue puff of smoke. It appears he’s had a few martinis already, probably while telling himself that cutting players is the hardest part of the job, which for this guy it probably is…or is at least tied with walking all the way out of the fucking dugout to hand in the lineup card. Right now, though, the guy is staring at Joey Cheney with enough intensity that he thinks he might have a bugger in his nose. “Shit, Subby,” the manager finally says, “is that you?”

    Cheney hangs his head and finally goes back to the locker room to pack his stuff.

    “I been sent down,” he tells one of the other guys who looks like he might be wearing a Taco uniform.

    “Shit, Subby,” the guy replies. “is that you?” Then the guy cackles, lights a cigarette and goes to look at his bank account to be sure his latest paycheck made it to his bank. This is the Taco’s after all. One time they paid in Taco Bell coupons. Totally sucked, and gave the whole team the runs for a month…none of which made it to the scoreboard, of course.

    Cheney packs and leaves, alone.

    The door clangs shut as he steps out into the dark night. It’s a lonely clang.

    He looks up into the overcast sky.

    Yes, he thinks, he’s being sent down from the Fresno Tacos. This is truly rock bottom.
    Last edited by RonCo; 07-09-2017 at 02:09 PM.
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  2. #2
    FOBL Board of Governors Hollywood's Avatar
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