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Thread: The Curious Case of Lonnie Aldis

  1. #1
    FOBL Owner/GM Doc P's Avatar
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    Default The Curious Case of Lonnie Aldis


    Lonnie Aldis

    The Curious Case of Lonnie Aldis

    (Montego Bay) - Four years ago, the baseball world was abuzz when then 18 year-old Lonnie Aldis defied the laws of physics and statistics when he compiled a -0.13 ERA during his senior year at Enterprise (formerly Banneker) Senior High School in Washington, D.C. During his senior campaign, he abused top high school hitters, using a 97 mph sinker along with a 95 mph curveball to make them look like the younger sisters of Pony Leaguers. He quickly became the top amateur prospect in the country according to several national publications, including the prestigious Parade Magazine.
    Cue Vitamin C, for that was then, and this is now. After being drafted number one overall by the FOBL Marlboro Townies, Aldis was hurried through the minor league system to the parent club, hoping to boost the Townies' failed playoff run. The following season, Aldis split time between the majors and minors, seeing lukewarm success. Was it the women, the power, and the carefree lifestyle that a $100,000/year salary brings with it that led to Aldis's mediocrity?
    No. As we were to find out, it was lack of raggae music and jerk chicken that nearly led him to a Kevin Gross - like career.
    The Montego Bay Red Stripe realized this and apparently saw that Aldis was still full of potential, launching a trade salvo at Marlboro management that no sane manager could refuse. Aldis started the 2041 season in AA, with fellow uberprospect and 2039 draft pick Gene McClendon. With McClendon's help, Aldis rediscovered his mojo and blew away the competition, leading Tortola to the AA STK Memorial Cup. The following season in AAA, Aldis and McClendon again made hitters look like sissies, leading Nassau to the Behm Cup.
    This season, at the tender age of 22, Aldis will be the ivory to McClendon's ebony at the top of the Red Stripe rotation. Now routinely throwing 100 mph and throwing a blazing disappearing curve, Aldis is finally ready to fulfill his potential and again hopes to bend the laws of physics on his way to a Solecismic Series ring.


    Solecismic Series Champions - 2044, 2047, 2048, 2050, 2053, 2058, 2059
    Vaughan League Champions - 2044,2047,2048,2050,2051,2052,2053,2054,2058,2059
    Ice Cream Sandwich Division Champions - 2043,2044,2045,2046,2047,2049,2050,2051,2052,2054, 2055,2056,2058,2059,2060,2061
    Vaughan League Manager of the Year - 2043, 2044, 2048, 2050

  2. #2
    FOBL Board of Governors Hollywood's Avatar
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    Moved to the Front Page section.


  3. #3
    (Or Dark Cloud. Whichever works.) Young Drachma's Avatar
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    Taunting meeee.

    Just kidding. Nice article.

  4. #4
    Beloved Former Owner MrIllini's Avatar
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    Dixie is not impressed.

    *grumbles quietly about fucking good pitching in division*
    Owner/GM, Utica Wombats
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  5. #5
    Owner and GM, Washington Piledrivers and Virginia Woodchucks Subby's Avatar
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    At least he has already had two wasted years of big league service!
    Virginia Woodchucks 2001-2035, 2039-present
    2004, 2010 Solecismic Series Champions
    Gindin League Champions (4) 2004, 2010, 2032, 2060
    Wilderness/Skates Division Champs (9) 2001, 2004, 2008, 2010, 2011, 2045, 2048, 2058, 2060



  6. #6
    (Or Dark Cloud. Whichever works.) Young Drachma's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Subby View Post
    At least he has already had two wasted years of big league service!
    I DO WHAT I CAN.
    FOBL: Helsinki Clowns (2063-)
    previously: Fresno Tacos (2062), Salt Lake City Elders (2048-58), Marlboro Townies (2038-43), Bantam Originals (2028-35)
    2064 Solecismic Series Champion
    2064 Gindin League Champion
    Division Titles: 2039, 2043, 2051
    Wild Card: 2040, 2041

  7. #7
    FOFL Commissioner cuervo72's Avatar
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    Aldis - the Curiously Strong Pitcher


    Blue, blue, the sky is blue, the grass is green and your heart is true,
    You got more colors than I ever seen, pink, red, yellow and in between.

  8. #8
    FOBL Board of Governors Morgado's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dark Cloud View Post
    I DO WHAT I CAN.
    BIIIIG UPS

    Davenport Falcons - 2043 FOBL Solecismic Series Winners

    (05 OCT 2011) 09:56:52 am [kurtism]: morg is the honey badger of economic analysts
    Jenny's Constant = [(7^((e/1)-(1/e)) - 9)]*(pi)^2
    I ♣ baby seals.
    *shurg* ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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