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Thread: Billyclubs move to Jamaica for sun, weed, bad accents

  1. #1
    FOBL Board of Governors Hollywood's Avatar
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    Default Billyclubs move to Jamaica for sun, weed, bad accents



    Philadelphia – It’s always sunny in Philadelphia? Not so, says first year owner/GM and 3rd generation native Philadelphian Doc P. Doc P, who inherited the storied Billyclubs from his alleged 5th cousin twice removed and famed musician, mogul and FOBL ambassador CJP, has begun to clean house.

    “Cuz left me with no money, no prospects, a sh*t team, and a sh*t stadium. F*cker.”, Doc commented while taking a Captain & Coke break between illegal back-alley ingrown toenail surgeries. “Our fan base is p*ssed, my manager is p*ssed, hell, my back-up catcher is so p*ssed, he requested a trade! Mother f*cker.” When contacted for comment on the state of the Billyclubs, CJP responded with two words : “F*ck ‘em”. And when asked about his cousin twice removed: “F*ck ‘em twice”.

    Due to the chilling of the love affair between the famed Cheesesteak City and the one-time Solecismic Series winning team, Doc P has decided to “get the hell out of Dodge. We’re picking up and moving south, where the rum is spicier, the women are looser and the ganja is greener.” To that end, Doc and the Billyclubs will be seen playing as The Red Stripe, at Bob Marley Memorial Field in Montego Bay, Jamaica next season.

    When asked what he’ll do to keep the baseball fans cool in the sweltering Jamaican summer heat, Doc muttered two words: “F*ck ‘em”.

  2. #2
    FOBL Board of Governors Hollywood's Avatar
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    Thanks for the article, Doc!


  3. #3
    FOBL Owner/GM kurtism's Avatar
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    The location may be different, but Doc clearly respects the 'clubs tradition.


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  4. #4
    FOBL Owner/GM Bing's Avatar
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    The Captain and Cokes seem a little cultured for 'Clubs tradition.
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  5. #5
    FOBL Owner/GM kurtism's Avatar
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    True, but the vernacular is steeped in it...


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  6. #6
    Beloved Former Owner MrIllini's Avatar
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    Can you get cold Schlitz in Jamaica?
    Owner/GM, Utica Wombats
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  7. #7
    Beloved Former Owner Malificent's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kurtism View Post
    The location may be different, but Doc clearly respects the 'clubs tradition.
    Honestly, I'm not convinced that CJP didn't just change his name. Have we ever seen them in the same room together?
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  8. #8
    FOBL Owner/GM Doc P's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MrIllini View Post
    Can you get cold Schlitz in Jamaica?

    We're having our own kegs of Schlitz Ice shipped in directly from the brewery. We'll be hooking them up to our sprinkler system to help cool off the field.


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  9. #9
    Beloved Former Owner MrIllini's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Doc P View Post
    We're having our own kegs of Schlitz Ice shipped in directly from the brewery. We'll be hooking them up to our sprinkler system to help cool off the field.
    Fuckin' right.
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